Posts Tagged ‘Florida’s Friendliest Hometown’

Get Back To Where You Once Belonged

October 22, 2017

I do not get all of these old geezers riding around on bicycles in packs, all dressed up like they were competing in The Tour D’ France.  However, being a free country, I readily acknowledge the fact that they have every right in the world to wear whatever spins their pedals.

What I do have a problem with is this: There are miles and miles of what are called multi-modal paths here in The Villages.  They are put in for use by non-vehicular forms of transport.  It has been discussed, researched, opined upon, and well documented that this means walkers, skaters, Segway users, golf cart drivers, and bicyclists.  Why then do these Lance Armstrong wannabes feel the need to take their lives into their hands and ride their bikes in the street?

I will tell you why.  It is because they do not want to be hindered or obstructed by the other, perhaps slower, users of the multi-modal paths.

Well, you fools, just like you, I do not wish to be hindered by your stupid looking bicycle gang when I am trying to get from point A to point B whilst driving my car.  That plastic peach pit looking piece of crap you have perched up there on your head is not going to help you much if you get yourself mowed down by a motor vehicle.  You know, one of those things that has every right to be in the street which you actually have no right to.

You have your own special paths; I suggest you stick to them.  I hate seeing the crows picking on the squirrels, possums, deer, and whatever other roadkill happens to be laying about.  It would really put a damper on my day to see them tearing away at your carcass.

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They Put A Hit Out On Mickey Mouse

October 21, 2017

Before we get to the quick of today’s topic, let me give a shout out to Doctor Parrot, a jokester who has seen fit to follow this here humble little blog.  If you need a little humor in your life, you can check him out right here.  Here is a tip; do not pass up the comments, they can be as entertaining as the jokes themselves.

OK, by now you know I live in The Villages, “Florida’s Friendliest Hometown”.  If you have followed the link, and paid attention, you know it is a deed restricted community for people over 55 years of age.  While there are a few exceptions, most of the adult children that live here are really 55 or older.  If you did not know that you are learning it now, right?

One of the deed restrictions has to do with how your front lawn should look.  The grass needs to be nice and neat, you should not let weeds take over, you should not make use of lawn ornaments, etc.

That being said, many folks have some really cool things incorporated into their landscape designs.  The developer landscapes the property to the bare minimum when your home is built.  You get a few shrubs in a couple of spots complete with pine straw mulch.  Everybody gets some sort of tree as well.  It seems that most people get Crepe Myrtles.  We got lucky and got a Bottle Brush Tree.  It is not very long before the majority of the homeowners call in the landscapers to get estimates on a design that gets rid of the pine straw, incorporates some tropical foliage, and adds some color other than green.

Deed restrictions or not, many, many homeowners have some type of doodads added in as well.  Some have metal heron sculptures, some have rainbow-colored whirligigs, some have leaping dolphins, and some just add benches or chairs.  The point is that whatever they are incorporating into their landscaping is a violation of the deed restrictions.  Since nobody drops a dime on them, the powers that be, The Community Standards Department, simply looks the other way.

A close neighbor of mine had a sort of new age thing going on, with rocks that had PEACE, LOVE, BLESSED, GARDEN, and other assorted words of enlightenment peppered in.  He also had Mickey and Minnie Mouse statuettes, and a cute little train with tracks running around the tree and shrubbery augmenting his landscape.

Then one day someone in the community went to what is called Newcomer Wednesday at The Community Development District.  That is where they lay out pertinent information about trash pick up, recycling, golf cart etiquette, all kinds of important stuff about how it works living here.  They found out about how one can go about reporting deed restriction violations.  They learned that all it takes is an anonymous phone call to Community Standards.  They posted this information on The Pine Hills Social Club Discussion Board.  A couple of days later Mickey, Minnie, and all of my neighbor’s other positive reinforcement, new age decorations vanished.

It seems they received a letter from Community Standards stating that their landscaping was in violation of the deed restrictions.  Some anonymous bastard put a hit out on Mickey Mouse, while all of the other assorted herons, egrets, and diving dolphins still stand unscathed.  It’s a twisted life……….

So Where Did You Hear That?

October 12, 2017

Here is the thing about news in The Villages: it is not what you would call fair and balanced.  I can say this because the news on WVLG, 640 AM, is delivered every hour on the hour by Fox News, and as we all know, their tag line is “fair and balanced”.  But I am not talking about radio news broadcasts, I’m referring to the written news media.

Just about everybody here subscribes to home delivery of The Villages Daily Sun.  This paper is chock full of happiness for the most part.  Most of the hard news, the news of the world, is pulled from the Associated Press wires, but the local, lifestyle type news, as reported on by young local reporters, is all sugar sweet, happy pappy, fluff, made to make The Villages appear to be an adult Utopia.  I guess that would be because the paper is operated by the Developer who, of course, wants to show off The Villages in the finest light.

Never fear though my friends, you can find a balance to this online.  You can go to The Villages – News.com.  There you can get the nitty-gritty on the jamokes that live in and around The Villages.  There you can leave comments, beef, bitch, moan, and groan.  There you will learn that being an adult child in Utopia isn’t always utopian.

So, if you want your news fair and balanced, you need to avail yourself of both of these sources.  It’s a twisted life……….

The New Sunday Game

October 10, 2017

I have promised myself that I was not going to get into politics with this incarnation of It’s A Twisted Life, but I need to tell you that I have given up on professional football.  While the sideline antics that the NFL players display during the National Anthem does come into play in my rejection of the game, so do a lot of other reasons.  What those reasons are will become the subject of another dissertation here soon.  I promise.

This past Sunday I attended a Polo match at The Villages Polo Club.  I must admit, I enjoyed it way beyond what I expected I would.  Sure, I knew I was curious about it.  After all, I was never exposed to the game, and now I found it being played right here where I live.

One of the most interesting aspects of the game is that you have both professional players, and amateur players playing side by side.  There is a handicap system that makes sure that each four-player team is evenly matched.  I have a limited understanding of how that all actually works, so I will just give you this link to The United States Polo Association where it is all spelled out.

 

What I can tell you is that it is as action packed as a thoroughbred horse race, and as strategic as a game of chess.  It is fast paced, yet the ball is easier to follow than say, a hockey puck.  You will also be treated to sight of some of the most magnificent horses you have ever seen.

Polo2

Original Photo (c) Susan Marie Molloy 2017

SAMBA

October 8, 2017

Before we get to the meat of today’s discourse, let us give a shout out to the young lady at Millennial Debt Success who took the time to read, and like, one of my postings.  If you are a Millennial, and you are trying to get the hang of handling your money, then this blog may be one you will benefit from.  Personally, I am an old geezer who uses credit to keep his FICO score high, and Millennials do not usually like hanging with me.

I had never heard of the card game Samba until moving to The Villages, but it sure seems to be pretty popular here.  In fact, there are at least sixteen games going on in the various recreation centers on a weekly basis.  These are actual games that are being played, at scheduled times, in scheduled venues, throughout The Villages.

I am not personally interested in the game of Samba.  I have a few card games that I know and enjoy, and I am not really interested in learning any new ones.  The ones I already know have given me hour upon hour of enjoyable fun and competition.  As a rule, I have always enjoyed the company of my fellow players.  But I doubt if I would reap any benefit from a neighborhood game of Samba.  Let me tell you why.

I find it rather funny that in the last three months there have been fifty-five comments on The Pine Hills Social Club community discussion board regarding trying to get a Samba game going, and yet not a single hand has been dealt.  The game is popular, the game is being played somewhere in The Villages on a daily basis, and anyone who lives in The Villages is entitled to partake in any activity in any of the recreation centers throughout The Villages.  I get the distinct feeling that if a “neighborhood” game ever did get going, these wheel-spinners would have to keep reminding each other when it is their turn to play their hand.

It is a twisted life, indeed……….

Enter The Clown Car

October 4, 2017

Let me start by directing you to the new guys.  It seems I am greeting every new day and find that one or two new people have found me.

Today there was Antonio from New York.  He does videos.  You might like them.  His blog is called The Struggle.  You can find it here.

Then there is my new follower David.  He seems to be an all around guy in that he has his blog going, and he operates an online radio station.  He readily identifies himself as Autistic, and if that is a seriously debilitating condition, it sure does not seem to show on him.  He has some very cool 60’s style sideburns, too.  Check him out right here.

Now about that clown car……………

I am sure you have all seen the little car bit, where a bunch of clowns keep streaming out of a real small car.  It is amazing because you never even knew there were that many clowns in the circus, right?  Well that, my friends, is very similar to some of the postings on my neighborhood message board, The Pine Hills Social Club.

Every single day there are tons of things going on in The Villages.  It is pretty much like a playground for adult children retirees.  Everybody goes zooming around hither and yon on golf carts.  That is right, golf carts.  You can go to the stores in them, you can go to the movie theaters in them, you can take your dog to the dog park in them, you can go to the doctor’s office in them, I have even heard rumors about a couple who got caught having sex in one in the church parking lot.

There are clubs, too.  There are clubs for people who came from the same state, clubs for people who went to the same school, clubs for people of the same ethnic heritage, clubs for democrats, clubs for republicans, clubs for philosophers, clubs for clowns, magicians, musicians, bicyclists, bikers, classic car owners, clubs for everything under the sun.  If there is not a club for whatever you are interested in or passionate about, you are more than welcome to start one.

Entertainments abounds.  Like any other city of substantial size, The Villages has theater groups, dance troops, and its own symphony orchestra.  Every night on the town squares there is free entertainment which is composed of some form of music, dancing, and two for one happy hours that feature a different special drink each night.  This goes on three hundred and sixty-five days a year, except when there is a hurricane blowing through. This is not to mention the guys on the geezer tour who stop by.  Why just the other night Mitch Ryder and The Detroit Wheels hit town.  Tommy James and the Shondells are coming up soon, as is Kansas.  Another old geezer, Willie Nelson, is due up in a couple of days, but he seems a little more relevent to todays country music scene, than the others do to the current rock scene.

So with all of this going on around and about the town, for some reason I cannot even begin to phantom, some of the denizens of The Pine Hills Social Club discussion board seem to be in a constant state of going around, and around, and around, and around, trying to set something up “in the neighborhood” that already exists, and is well organized, and provided for in the many recreation centers around and about The Villages itself.

I find the clown car quite entertaining at times.

 

 

More Will Be Revealed

October 3, 2017

And so, there seems to be a couple of people actually reading my writing.  I am honored that someone would take the time.

millennial named Bailey, who lives in Nashville, actually started following me.  You can check his stuff out here.  He is taking on some interesting 30-day immersions into various millennial-type endeavours.

Then there is Juhi, a young lady from India.  She seems to be quite positive in her assessment of life, and how one might better live it.  If you are in need of some positive reinforcement, may I suggest you seek her out here.

As if that were not enough, there is what seems to be a group effort by a few folks who are strong advocates of outdoor activity.  Bully for them, I say.  Fresh air never hurt anyone.  They call their blog The Dihedral, and you can find that one here.

Finally, I would be sadly remiss if I did not give a shout out to my most fervent follower, my lovely wife, Susan.  She is a fine writer, a published author, and my much-needed proofreader and editor.  If you would like to treat yourself, you can purchase her books on Amazon, or you can go here and get a good feel for her writing for free.

Ah well, I did not come here today to brag about the few people I already have reading my stuff.  It surprised me that they were out there so soon, and I just had to spout off about it.  What I did come here for today was to flesh out the introduction a little more. I live in a place called The Villages, Florida.  It is touted as being “Florida’s Friendliest Hometown”.  Is it?  Well hang in there with me boys and girls, and we shall see.

 

 


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